Living with Eyes Wide Open
Interview with Tim Bresenden
I met Tim Bresenden in San Diego at the Everything Must Change Tour. We started talking about his work, and ended up on matters of life and death. And life again. This interview happened some months after that first meeting.– DWJ
Doug: When we met, you began to tell me about some interesting things you are doing in your role as a Human Resources Director at Qualcomm. I remember something about a poker night….
Tim: Yes, poker night. Let me give you some context. I feel that there is a lack of connectivity in our society on all different levels. That is certainly true here at Qualcomm. It seems to me that what Jesus did was to bring people together—zealots and tax collectors, men and women, Jews and gentiles. God seems to have put that connecting paradigm in my life. I guess part of my life’s work is try to be a bridge.
Doug: Which obviously leads to a poker tournament….
Tim: Ok, I admit that at one level it is just a card game. But I was thinking about how I might connect people at various levels here at QC. The thing about poker is that everyone starts with the same chips. And while there is considerable skill involved, there is still a fair amount of luck involved in any given hand. So everyone starts off on the same footing. We got people from all different levels of the company, and all different departments. And it is just fun. One manager said to me, ”that is the most fun I’ve had with engineers in a long time.” Last tournament the president of the company got knocked out by a technician on the manufacturing floor. It is just a card game, but I see people relating in ways they don’t usually relate.
Doug: I’m getting the idea that you aren’t your normal garden variety HR Director.
Tim: When people think about human resources, they typically think of the statutory piece, making sure we are compliant with laws, and managing risk related to employment areas. But that is not the full picture. To me it is about making sure that the “feel” or culture of the company is one that people want to work in. It is about treating each other fairly, with gentleness and justice. That is not stuff you can put a neat bow on.
This year we were rated as the eighth best place to work in the country. I feel good about that; it tells me we are doing our job in HR.
Doug: Can you give me an example of the complexity? Without getting yourself in trouble?
Tim: I’ve got lots of stories. Recently I had the opportunity to oversee the growth of our Asia/Pacific offices. I found this to be fascinating. It was the challenge of bringing our known employment culture of QC to new part of the world with its own culture to be honored.
Then you throw into the mix something like sexual harassment. In the US, there is a hard line drawn on this issue. In the part of Asia we were opening this office; this was not something people talked about. For gross violations, the government imposed a max $200 fine and a slap on the wrist. So I got over there, and I was getting to know people at the various levels of the company. As people came to trust me, they started asking questions like “Ummm, what would happen if there was a member of senior management that was harassing us?” Slowly facts began to trickle out. As I came to find out, the company’s own employment lawyer was sexually intimidating women in the office.
When I confronted him, he began from a standpoint of “let’s prove her wrong.” But eventually he began to come around. He actually gave me indications that he could change. And that is when it really got complicated. He was humble enough to really try to change. But the momentum had switched and everyone wanted him fired. I believe in second chances—it is another way that my faith impacts my work. So I then found myself standing up for him. In a way, he became the marginalized one.
While they don’t always work out this way, this particular situation ended up well. It is 3 years later, and the sexually harassed women and this guy are now playing side by side on the same company badminton team.
Doug: Since you brought it up, what does it mean to live your faith at your work?
Tim: It is funny how many of my conversations end in some kind of spiritual discussion. I don’t bring it up. But often people will ask me, “why did you do this or that?” and I tell them. Now it almost becomes a joke—some people will say, “Alright, did that come from the Bible too?”
I have been particularly moved by the way Jesus defended the outcasts in society. I used to skip those parts. Now I see that part of my role as a HR Director is to support those on the margins. But who is on the margins can change. In that last story I told you, clearly this women being harassed needed support. But at a certain point, the guy had the sexual predator mark on him. First he needed accountability, but then he too needed an advocate.
Doug: When we talked in California, you told me about your cancer. What is the prognosis?
Tim: I got diagnosed with brain cancer, and the prognosis isn’t good. I’ve been told a statistic that 99% of these types of primary brain tumors come back. One of the challenges is that the only symptom for a new tumor are things like headaches, dizziness, etc.. There are no blood tumor markers for this kind of cancer. So it can easily turn you into a hypochondriac, constantly wondering if the minor head pain I am experiencing is really the start of a new tumor. The only way to find the tumor is with an MRI, and if they actually see a mass, by then it can be too late. I did the full Surgery/chemo/radiation protocol….but eventually became allergic to the chemo. So I had to stop that treatment. Now I am only exploring complementary and alternative medicine & protocols, which include herbs, acupuncture and trying to practice Sabbath. My hope and fervent prayer is that I get to live for decades, but it may be only months or years.
Doug: How has this impacted your relationships?
Tim: There is all the obvious stuff. I have three kids, ages six, five and one, and I want to see them grow up. I have all the dreams that anyone else has when they are 36 years old. And it can create this crazy dynamic in my marriage. What might normally be a little argument could end up turning into a huge drama because of the context we are in. Also, one of the hardest things for me personally is when friends who have a similar diagnosis take a turn for the worse.
But I also have a greater awareness of the preciousness of life. I now have had two brain tumors. The first one was benign. When that one was removed, I was into the “this is a good wake up call; I am going to live my life differently” mode. And I did make some changes. But this second one came up out of nowhere, and it was not benign.
I don’t have an answer why the second one happened. I may never know.
Doug: How has this impacted your faith?
Tim: The whole “I am going to fight this!” paradigm doesn’t work for me. I am not in this situation because God nodded off, because God stopped being God. At the same time, I don’t think God “did this” to me. So in the midst of this challenge, I am trying to figure out what it means to submit to God’s will. I believe that God wants me to hope and pray and believe in miracles. I have to let the possibility in that I will die sooner than I want, before I can let hope in. In the meantime, I am trying to use this situation that God has put me in as a tool to further his kingdom. And there is no question that God is using this bad thing to create good.
Doug: How?
Tim: So many people have opened up about their own suffering. Just one example:
One of our employees felt compelled to sue the company with help of a governmental agency, alleging disability discrimination. I was brought in to help deal with the complaint that was already filed. Many had already come to the conclusion that this guy was just grabbing for money. I found him to be just the opposite. Qualcomm simply had not yet taken the time to understand his position, and he was understandably reticent to share what was really going on. But because of my cancer diagnosis, he opened up, and we talked at a whole different level. Turns out that he too had a terminal diagnosis. Once we got past that barrier, the impasse in the conversations was broken, and Qualcomm was more than happy to help him get his needs met.
When I open up with people about my situation, there is often the “mouth drops open and I don’t know what to say” moment. But it usually then translates into a much more real conversation. I don’t purposely use it as a tool. But if God brings it up, I am going to walk through the door.
There is so much about this I don’t understand. All I can say is that this is now part of my journey; it is woven into the fabric of my life. And while I’m on this journey, I’m going to explore it fully. This is the life I have been given. I’m not going to close my eyes on this roller coaster ride.
Tim Bresenden is the Human Resources Director at Qualcomm, a Fortune 500 company that enables the wireless industry. He also has been instrumental in creating the website EverythingMustChange.org ('Changing the world, one action at a time') Tim lives in Southern California with his wife and three children.